Blackberries need to come with a feature that disables texting to certain numbers after 2am based on content. liek disabling texting to 'dad' containng the words 'lets try to find more blow.'
Saw some pubes in our toilet, hope the new look works out tonight.
I'm constantly one strobe light away from an E flashback
my love horoscope just told me to "say it in frosting" should i take this literally?? i think yes.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
My brother just put in eyedrops to talk to my mom on the phone
you kept telling her you'd make a great step-dad while cuddling her and rubbing her back...
she was talking at me constantly for like 20mins. i kept praying for a brain hernia but it kept not happening...
I knew my sign language would come in handy. I just used sign to coordinate a coke deal.
Life Goals: never under any circumstances, pee in an elevator again. No matter how drunk
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I would bite a mans dick off for a chocolate milk.
Eating power bars and masterbating... That's kinda my life right now. Is this what having a boyfriend means?
I finally broke my dry spell. I did it. D-do-da-Dora.
I still can't believe I was army crawling thru his backyard at 2am..
there's fucking coffee grinds packed all inside my pipe. what did i do
the only fun thing to do here is drink beer and make mistakes. i feel like im in college again
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