i wish swine flu would become a total pandemic so we cld be rid of all the people that are complaining about it
I almost hooked up with this girl last night. she had a tattoo of a cardinal next to her cooter. said it reminded her of her grandpa
I just had sex with a black guy. He told me I had a big dick. I think that's God's way of saying it's okay to be gay.
How come the only thing we can do right in our lives is drugs?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Don't ask how, but I'm pretty sure my name is now on a lease to a taco bell franchise in maryland...
Yeah, all the sudden I heard a loud "ding" and realized I had been passed out on the dorm elevator for about an hour....
It wasn't random sex though, it was almost a relationship, built on lies and sex
Just got back from the tanning beds. I'm a lobster. I fear for the safety of my nipples falling off.
EMERGENCY FRIEND CRISIS: WE HAVE TOO MUCH WHISKEY. ABORT HANGING OUT WITH MELISSA, RECOMMEND TO HANG OUT WITH OUR WHISKEY INSTEAD
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
she texted me 'with freud,' which i thought was drunk for 'i'm with my friend.' but nope, she was actually on a statue of the psychologist sigmund freud.
Wikipedia just saved you three hours and $30 on a bar tab. You should donate.
$5. Donated.
you're hired as official boob wrangler
He brought me Plan B in the snowstorm.
A+ 👏🏼
I'm telling you, this vagina is really making the rounds lately...
He just got out of surgery, almost died from shooting him self with an arrow.
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