she is unbelievable! ever pee on a girl?
not while she was awake
I made out with four boys last night, AND EXCUSE ME WHILE I COUNT HOW MANY GIRLS.
I woke up with a picture of my dick as my background. still wondering if it was a good night or not.
you were watching a documentary about sharks and wouldn't stop stroking my legs and whispering "what if they could walk?"
Wish i knew who the f is sending me pics of asian newborns.
Yeah, he said he was getting "welcome back Winnipeg Jets drunk" then puked on his jersey.
Please make the clown in the corner stop judging me. I mean he's the one with paint on his face. I don't need him judge judying me.
it felt like i was a kid in an empty playground. i fucked him on every piece of furniture in the house and then when his housemates showed up i was naked in his bed like i'd been there all along.
The guy you hooked up with is asleep in the tub. I just pee'd and he said 'turn off the tap' before snoring again.
We need large glitter to throw at people to signify our mystic nature
Fuck their feelings and their drinks they will get hit with sparkly confetti
I keep jumping up and down in front of the mirror naked. The only motivation I would be to stop and put clothes on is if you come over. Hurry.
Proudest moment of my life. Just watched a guy walk into the side of a car because I winked at him. Love these yoga pants and my hair. Fuck yes. His mouth was hanging open.
If I get a 4.0 I am doing SO much cocaine.
My diet fell off the wagon when I began texting the pizza delivery guy my location on frat row.
I just realized u compared me to a coconut
Randomize
