Are you guys doing anything tonight?
Krysta
I hate thxgiving break now because that totally means I'm not able to have sex for a week.
birth control and beer are two of the most beautiful creations ever invented.
and I'm going to name my autobiography "blow jobs with enthusiasm are the best"
I'm naming my autobiography "Reasons Not to Date Girls From Texas."
I'm not sure where but someone shit somewhere in the house
Just tell him to eat fruit before so it tastes good. Then it's just like shotgunning a smoothie
I am VERY upset that you called my fiesta a waste of time.
What should I wear?
Uhhhhh...idk? it's a gay bar
I found something that says "i'm here to party, but not fuck guys."
She just drunkenly falls over and yells " I lost my footing!" in a british accent and then proceeds to run into the wall... did you spike her water?
Mom told me you snuck booze into a concert in a cheez its box...I have never been prouder to be related to you
The stripper told Tom to sort his life out
Fun fact. I just wrapped myself in wrapping paper for a sext. Is this a new high or a new low stay tuned.
It's like every time I'm baked I discover my fingers all over again.
My life is far to together for someone who's such a hot mess inside
are you comparing glasses to pregnancy
Randomize
