can a staight man not wear seersucker in this town?
Molly wanted me to tell you, "she hasnt shit on the floor in a while" like she thinks its an accomplishment.
i don't even want to say how many boners i've caused this week
First date: that requires underwear, huh?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Remember the girl passed out in front of my fireplace?
At one point, the guy you were fucking high-fived with the guy I was fucking. We should hang out with them again?
You can't break up with me. I brought you to see Beyoncé.
So you called me the queen of nudes yesterday and I'm still not sure how I feel about it
I'm more heavily invested in that tequila than you are
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Is it weird to invite your FWB to thanksgiving dinner??
Its only once in a life time you get to pick your vcard swiper up from jail
Its okay. I just know how you can text with your hands cuffed behind you back, so I had no idea what "oh shit" meant.
I woke up, topless, my car was parked funny so I threw on my hoodieto go fix it and found a jello shot in my pocket. where did I go last night?!
i just woke up in my dog's bed, on my parents floor, my outfit on backwards, and a bottle of lube poured down my pocket.
He expects a blow job at the movies but won’t pay for popcorn? Does he know it’s not 2017 anymore
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