the beds are so narrow its like a jenga threesome
you took out flashcards at the bar and went around asking guys what totalitarianism meant.
Changed my sheets. Found a can of rockstar, crushed bag of tostitos, used tissues, and enough of both of our clothes to make a whole outfit.
they're using the ping pong table for ping pong. it's weird
Getting too drunk for the hot dog vendor to serve me is possibly a sign of an alcohol problem. I threw up in the sewer grates next to his stand
She's going to get preggers, drop out of school, and end up working at mcdonalds. Great for our mcdoubles habit but bad for her future.
Now that we have successfully procreated, I need to know we are on the same page. Please tell me you are aware that there are whole seasons of our lives that our child can NEVER be made privy to.
We should probably write this down. That's a shit load of shit.
Well she got high, deleted the essay she was working on, and then ordered dominos. We all manage stress in different ways.
I just fell out of my doorway to go to class so if that doesn't describe how my night went idk what will
not sure if actually covered in glitter or just drunk
You gotta come over now. He is eating cupcakes while they are still in the foil.
Wearing Navy dress whites to a wedding is like having a magical panty removing device. I've never cockblocked a whole room just by existing before.
he told me he wanted me to go see his cat. apparently i was more interested in playing with his cat then having sex.
im mourning your vaginas lack of frictional upkeep
If you ever get divorced...would you call me??
Randomize
