If I go to jail what happens to my debt?
You dont have to pay it.
I'm going to jail.
i just shit 3 out of the 4 types of matter
Do you ever creep on the girls you have banged and wondered how their walk of shame went?
Hi, my name's audrey!
Max?
Sorry, this girl is phone-stealing drunk.
she was stuffing dove chocolates in my mouth while giving me a blow job. GOD I LOVE VALENTINES DAY
i ran around the party telling everyone that my favorite sexual position was also the only position that made me queef...i kept calling it the "double edged sword"
why is there a clump of hair nailed to my wall?
and then he publicly announced her herpes on facebook.
Dude, had to, it's Canada Day, I fucked her for Canada. Seriously, I put my Canadian flag on my bed and fucked her on it.
I'd be careful with that one, she got 86'd from the family dollar while SOBER.
Every little girl dreams of the day when she picks up her fuck buddy because he's drunk at the gay bar again.
bought even stevens on dvd and enough weed and pizza bagels to last us a week.. ready to get snowed in?
How is it possible for someone who gets so many dick picks sent to her, to be experiencing such a complete and utter lack of dick IRL.
Yeah apparently i called the bartender a "fucking prison warden" after she took my keys and called me a cab
Where am I? And why the fuck did you leave me here?
Relax. I left you somewhere safe plus you have all my weed so you know I will come back for you.
Randomize
