Will you still be my friend if I read and enjoyed Twilight?
No
wouldve been great, if we lived in constant slow motion cause that shit lasted 30 seconds and half the time he was putting on the condom
what kind of vibe do I give off that a guy i've never hung out with thinks its okay to send me a picture of his ball cleavage?
We all just poured out a sip of our drinks for you. One for our pussy whipped homie.
She def said "you had your chance!" after telling me she had a boyfriend. Like a pile of dogshit lecturing me on how I missed out on having itself stuck to the bottom of my shoe.
We went to the police station completely hammered looking for you. Don't tell me I'm not a good friend.
While he was going down his phone rang and he answered saying I'll call you later I'm eating.
Were taking tot shots. If toddlers could drink these are the size of shots they would take
We stole a cat. That is all you need to know.
Learned my lesson. Pink pantydroppers out of a beer bong=deceiving
OH YEAH AND FORGOT TO THANK YOU FOR THE lack of WARNING THAT HE WASN'T CIRCUMSIZED.
I have need of you to return home with haste, as I require the magical capsules you possess to relieve the posterior pain I am living. I battle this demon with stubborn grit, however I feel that defeat is on the horizon.
Checked my bank account this morning...apparently I went to 7-11 at 4am and spent $22 on taquitos. New all time low for me.
I ate all of them. New all time low for ME.
you just don't appreciate it because you've never been arrested
My life is over, I got a mugshot while wearing a shirt that said 'milf hunter'.
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