she was so not down for the gang bang
So that's a yes to the cocaine usage and a no to the rollerblading
You should probably just propose to him the old fashioned way: sleep with him and get pregnant.
She told me I should be a condom model.
I did shrooms last night. My drug checklist is complete, I can finally graduate.
Worst ten minutes of my life, it's was like trying to put a marshmallow in a piggy bank....
We're high and this subject came up and I'd like a female opinion: if you were a dude, what would you do if a girl tried to give you a foot job?
Hi. This might be awkward, but I met you on saturday at about 330 am. I have to admit I don't remember your name, what we talked about, or various details of how I got home. What I do remember is that I was invested enough in getting your number to ask my cab driver for a pen to write it down since my phone was dead. So do you want to meet, soberer, some time?
Hey bro I think you got the wrong number I'm a dude
You're fucking beautiful as shit and we should have loving sex...
tried to make it look like I had been conscious/awake and out all day when I stumbled into cvs at 6pm to buy plan B
update: I failed
I think one of your friend's offered my friend chicken tenders back at his place...just FYI he should probably come up w/ another line
It finally happened. Some guy just tried to catfish me with my own dick pic. Of course I told him that it was the hottest dick I'd ever seen and that I would do anything for that particular dick.
Note to self: I can rip apart her vagina and she'll still cuddle with me, but if I steal her Chapstick she'll murder me !?
I had perfectly good intentions but my penis had other ideas and now I need a place to crash what do you say
I just recommended that the library purchase the first major hentai with tentacle porn. Really, I'm doing everyone a favor.
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