I woke up to him trying to put his dick in my mouth. When I asked him what he was doing he said he was trying to make me stop snoring...
I wish costco sold astroglide.
i wish my brain was less awake, and didn't try and picture what you were talking about.
Call it a failed empirical study as to whether drugs would make her more interesting. or at least better in bed.
You taught me that having a dip while u shit is awesome. I appreciate u for that
Just saw a cop issuing a DUI. At 3 pm. It's definitely the start of winter break.
you read me verses from the beginners bible until my answering machine finally ran out of time and cut you off.
fyi gin and iced coffee...not my greatest invention
im failing my bio class b/c he booty calls me wednesday nights at 6 like clockwork
In between when I last wrote and now have screwed a Swiss guy on a hostel bathroom floor. Okay, real life?
He just remixed a spongebob song with 2 chainz..... Clearly I love him
I would have been the big man on campus...just flop my wang out on the table and how them what they were gonna deal with if they dropped the soap
Worst drunk idea ever... Me "Cops are looking for two guys, one in a grey shirt one in a blue shirt" jelly "lets take out shirts off they'll never find us" of course I thought it was brilliant
I feel like I smell like bad decisions
I thought I came here to hook up, not for a Study Abroad 101 session
How much have you had to drink?
Qhaghao Oslo?
That seems like quite a lot.
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