now i know why i became what i already was.
you can't get genital warts from dogs can you?
you're just mad because in the hogwarts world I'm Harry and you're Ron. get over it.
I just woke up wearing retainers... they are most definitely not mine
Well, we missed our public lewdness court date. Looks like were going to jail in Alabama ...
yeah a little bit of me felt bad about it. But the rest of me was having sex with him.
You lured him into the bathroom with a trail of jello shots, then proceeded to barricade the door with duct tape. You really should have thought that one through..
I won't be able to make it. Too hung over. Can't hold down fluids. I'm in the bathtub trying to hydrate my body through osmosis. And yes, Tequila Tuesday is totally still on for tonight.
Oh my God, that is a gorgeous man. And I wasn't even gay until five minutes ago.
I run into you far too many times while completely stoned and/or drunk for this not to be fate. It's like god is telling you to fuck me.
It has been happening a lot lately.
Does Jesus have blonde highlights? Pretty sure I saw him in a lavender shirt and Sperry's.
I feel like we need to find him and explain that if the two of them would just fuck he'd understand.
Nothing like ripping open the box with your keys on a sat R train and throwing back the morning after pill with some coconut water on my way to work at a fitness studio for free
I think it's time for tequila and I to go our separate ways
You're moving up the public shitting ladder
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