god i wish i could take a shit and a shower at the same time
I just saw a girl make a shank with the underwire in her bra...
He is like the real live version of the state fair..
my desire to fuck abstract ideas (bravery, love, popsicls,,) increases by 8bajillion% when I'm high
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
We shouldn"t be alone together
you didn"t say that yesterday
you weren't married yesterday
Sign #1 that I'm not ready to be a mother: I'm shopping for "maternity fishnets".
I'm ultimately at thr Shariton to drink and ppssibly puke on fancy shit. Thats my story and Im sticking to it.
Would it be inappropriate to rub one out in the gym shower? I mean, technically, I pay $80 a month to do what I want so could they really say anything?
Shower is fine. Steam room is shady. I've probably done both at one point in my life so I can't be used as a good reference.
You proceeded to get into a playground school bus and yell "all aboard to Margaritaville!"
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
But there's never enough margarita money.
This is going to be one of those situations where we lose a day, isn't it
I basically have the attention span of a ferret on meth when it comes to men
The part where he comes over and ignores you isn't what makes me mad about that story... It's the fact that he ate your tacos, AND THEN proceeded to ignore you. That's cold hearted.
I think my fortune cookie is telling me I give good blowjobs.
You don't have to buy me dinner, watch tv or even hang out if you don't want. Just fuck.
Totally unrelated, but by the way I DO have one ball bigger than the other.
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