the guy I was hooking up with asked me if he could wear a guerilla suit during sex.
Life Lesson Number 76: Masturbating into a sock is useless if there is a hole in it.
Don't worry I'll hold the wheel while you cum
Breaking hearts and overdosing on semen. That's my life.
just so you're aware of it in the morning: you tried to slide down the railing on a snuggie. twice.
i'm sorry, but my penis isnt the solution to your problems
yea im pretty sure it has something do with my love of forearms...
nothing can ever be as bad as the night i blacked out, updated my fb status to i need a pity fuck and then passed out for 13 hours.
Day 1 of "Death of a Liver" weekend complete. It came with flashbacks of horrible mistakes I made due to alcohol. I'm excited for how Sunday is going to turn out.
BTW I totally understand panda express being popular amongst the highs. I can feel the shrimp being slaughtered in my mouth. It's fantastic.
As a plus, I've lost 5 pounds in two days, so "party all weekend" is officially a valid diet plan.
Her parents are celebrating she found someone so well endowed.
Will there be champagne when they see the pay check?
he was snoring so I have him a bj to wake him up and then told him he had to leave.
She made me keep my boots on and say "you're welcome darlin" after every orgasm......so yes it was an awesome night.
i woke up between my boyfriend and his sister and i don't know if we fucked or cried together
Randomize
