i just met rob pattinson in italy. he's so stupid, i feel like i would have to say "your penis goes here!"
I literally ate my thanksgiving dinner while getting a lapdance. And honestly, after that, there is no other way.
I still can't believe I found a dildo in my ceiling today.
A man pulled out his penis last night and when I said I wouldn't touch it, he said, "that's fine it just needs to breathe".
Side note: THE ORIGINAL LION KING IS COMING THE MOVIES AGAIN--3D STYLE. We need to find shrooms.
if any part of your body has ever entered my vagina you are fucking obligated to speak to me if i so desire
So I thought the party was crazy before his pinky came off...
that's all we do, eat and hve sex, eat and have sex. he thinks it's bad and that we need to talk more or whatever but I'm just not seeing the problem...
He said he doesnt believe in the female orgasm,so no I did not have sex with him.
He came so hard that he yelled what sounded like a spell from Harry Potter.
the cashier at the gas station pulled a twig out of my hair and told me I should probably wash it before work....it was kinda sweet.
My fucking earlobe is bruised what the hell
the roommate is literally cooking green eggs n ham, and I'm too hungover to see straight. Dr Seuss nightmare.
If that guy asks u bout me, I said my name is Jenelle, from CT, I'm a cat behiavor consultant and I'm 29. Back my story up
Well, I have no idea where my underwear is, so yea I would say it was a good weekend.
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