i just threw up in a potted plant at home depot
I would give my right arm to go back to college. Or maybe not. Would be kinda hard to pick up guys with one arm. Then again, knowin what I do now...I could take any freshman bithc with only one arm.
im glad we only fight about serious things like the hills and disney scene it
dressing as green man for st patrick's day = free drinks all night long
My parents are takin me for chinese food for my 4/20 present.
I fucking hate you.
Gina was bawling her eyes out and then she ran into the street and peed. she kept screaming "LOOK WHAT YOUVE DONE TO ME"
I'm not driving across town for three thrusts and an excuse
Dropping the entire last roll of TP into the toilet is a hurt you don't want to know.
Lets play hurricane shelter. And the shelter is my bed, and we forgot our clothes.
He said the first movie he ever jerked off to was Titanic because he knew "they were totally doing it in that car."
He fucking took my shirt off and didn't even touch my boobs. What the actual fuck.
To be honest I've become too lazy for the work involved in getting laid.
You run marathons and you're too lazy for sex? Priorities, man.
Touche.
He must be a special kind of stupid to cheat on a women who works at a funeral home. Does he not understand you can get rid of dead bodies easier than most Americans?
you were peeing in her backyard and some dude came outside and looked at you and was like "thats not a pee spot" and you said "well it is now" then i joined you. Forever poppin squats <3
Sorry didnt text you yesterday. had to put restraining order on my ex.
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