His pickup line was "I'll eat you out"
He did it well too
his facebook status quotes britney spears so there is always that
My dad hugged me and said I love u. I'm glad I didn't pull out that night.
I think i found piece of your tooth in my dick this morning when i took a shower
Somebody was walking their dog with their car. seriously
She agreed that we could have sex whenever I wanted and I could let someone else meet my mom.
If I'm going to start compromising my butthole it's going to be for much better drugs than a ventolin
Hey, I told her the bathroom was a "No fly zone" after I used it. She willingly allowed her nose to go through that pain. It's her fault, she only supplied me with vodka when she knows I only drink rum.
I finally got the glitter off in time to get to the party and bang the bday boy in the bathroom while his girlfriend was lighting the bday cake candles.
HIS DICK IS SO AWESOME DUDE. 15/10 SURPRISE
YOu just turned down my vagina. Something must be wrong. Vegas changed you!
It's a shame things ended how they did. We were well on our way to transforming from acquaintances with benefits to friends with benefits.
Nice people suck dick too. I'm proof.
His birthday is on cinco de mayo and he doesn’t drink or like tacos. What a waste.
the raccoons are back...
Randomize
