i hope thats the last time i ever see ryan's hairy ass fucking
I think the world might be a better place if everyone was capable of having open relationships.
i googled "the goonies drinking game." i may be alone, but i'm living the college dream.
Like if I don't roll around in my puke, the night will be a failure.
Osama's death just kick started our Cinco de mayo celebration. Margaritas for anyone wearing red white and blue!
Apparently I told the girl smoking was terrible for her, and then requested it in my mouth.
The landlord called, GOOD NEWS! Noise violation #2! Something about people singing and fighting with vodka bottles in the parking lot. Well done us.
Turns out the guy I peed on gave me a ride back to my dorm this morning.
You are a god.
Two cats fucking in the middle of the street. I sat there and watched in my car because I didn't want to cock block the male by honkin my horn.
I walked into my room last night at 4 am and there's a random dude in his boxers eating oatmeal on my futon. I looked at him and went to bed
I love that you'd blow off your high school reunion to get shit faced in an aquarium with us
Um. We all know how I feel about sea life
He was like low grade Riff Raff, but I hit it. Twice. His grill popped out the second time.
im too broke to be in a relationship this close to the holidays
No I will not paint you for Mardi Gras in town. It is going to rain and you don't need another ID charge
it was weird going down on him. His picture of Jesus was staring at me the entire time...
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