I really don't want to move...I'm having a motivation problem.
kev is about to show us pictures of the tranny he accidentally fucked last night.
I'll be there in 10
My vag should have a twitter account. It would be like "destroyed another condom today".
my fart just smelled so bad i acutally gagged
just because you are now my girlfriend does not mean you can text me nasty shit
Even the bartender felt bad for me
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
it was a weeks worth of wine for $20. it would have been fiscally irresponsible to not buy it.
I just realized I have my pepper spray, gun, and vibrator all in one drawer. One false grab and I'm screwed either way.
no. the fact that it's halloween completely overrides the fact that it's sunday. youre going out whether im dragging your boring ass or not.
That girl gave me her number because you were arrested. I am so proud of you dude.
Dude..this is the third year in a row me and him have fucked at a super bowl party..does that count as a tradition?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
NoShamevember. You game?
I'm a bit broke right now... Would it be OK if I pay you in champagne and Xanax?
Just found some confetti on my nipple if that's any indicator of how the night went
He fingered me in a Waffle House bathroom and then stole a traffic cone. Is this love that I'm feeling?
Can't feel body but making pizza rolls
Just learned a very valuable life lesson. Never motorboat a cat when they have claws.
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