just do it
fine only cuz shes asian
Dude she looked like Jerry Garcia's knuckles
Every night before bed, when I used to say prayers, now I just think to myself 'freshman sluts. Soon'
spending the week with her family was quite possibly the longest ive ever gone without having a boner
you woke me up just to tell me that I was beautiful in every way possible. Then you proceeded to fall asleep with your mouth on my boob.
I don't know how, but he made a bong out of a hamster wheel. To say I am impressed is an understatement.
When are you comin back?
probably mid next week, depending on when i finish my remaining half gallons
Well at one point he got ahold of my archery gear.. And I. Shit. You. Not. Sarah took an arrow to the knee.
I'm your Election Erection Connection
I retroactively revoke all sex we've ever had.
He tried to take a picture of me naked but only got my ass. I don't know his name but if my butt is a guys wallpaper, that's the one I boned.
The George Foreman grill is melted. I don't know what other problems could arise.
do you think the dildo I'm bringing through airport security is considered a weapon?
Sorry I wasn't opportunistic about sucking your dick in an Uber last night
All I remember is pissing by the garage and the next thing I know I'm on fire
She was riding a razor scooter down the street wearing nothing but a feather boa it was beautiful.
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