if your dad confronts the dude you fucked about the background check he did on him, NOT GONNA GET A CALL BACK
Just caught my bro jerking off to a lane Bryant catalog
Seriously, it was like sucking my thumb.. and im not even saying that to be spiteful b/c he is a really nice guy.
we just ha sex. he lasted two minutes. i told him to leave because i had class
isnt today saturday?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
she told me I give head better than a lesbian. I know it's a great compliment but it kind of threw me off.
it's to the point where working 2 jobs this summer will absolutely not cover how much i will spend on alcohol next semester.
I searched the house and found a small bottle of sherry which is probably as old as I am, has prob gone off and tastes like shit. I don't care any more. It has come to this.
Just because Aaron is a gender neutral name does not mean I am letting you name your baby after a drug dealer
I'm going to join a nudist colony to win $1000. There are no down-sides to this.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Pissed along side the highway while waving at all the traffic... if thats not a sign of a productive night to come then idk what is
You gotta start bringing a flask to work so you can get a head start
Possibly a very genius or very terrible idea...
No worries I have vodka. Its always on time
You were a cyclone of alcohol and bad decisions - like a gay Tazmanian devil
I need to immerse myself in a tub of peroxide to kill whatever traces of him are on me.
Punched myself in the face trying to open a bottle of Vicodin one handed. Night is going well.
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