I just broke up with my girlfriend lets go find strippers that need rent money.
I cant video chat with you tonight, my parents are home
r u implying that im some kind of v-chat prostitution whore?
just stared at ed norton's ass for 26 miles. if there was ever an incentive to run a marathon, that was it. my life is perfect.
He just said he was the Jesus of alcoholics.
Its not christmas eve unless I give him head. I wont take no for an answer
Everything in my purse is 100% saturated in red wine, which made it challenging to cover up my booze breath with franzia soaked gum
That's fuckin bs. I had the bouncers beat by 30 yards til that dumbshit on the moped stopped in front of me.
I feel like I just gave a blowjob to a freight train.
You were running around yelling "BUKAKE!" and squirting people with a shampoo bottle you found. Total shitshow.
My most recent midlife crisis involved eating a doughnut in 30 seconds but taking 5 minutes to do half a shot of whiskey, then deciding I wasn't going to finish it.
She thinks I'm afraid I'm gonna get caught in one of my lies and some of the girls I'm fucking will find out about each other. But it would be a relief to offload a few from the old crop and work in a few newbies into the rotation. The organization could use some new blood.
is leaving the club to fk in his friends van subtle?
Someone younger than me just got married. Send help and vodka
It's always great when the guy I get pills from sends me an email that says "I know you will get clean it's going to be hard but I know you can do it"
Idk man there's lots of bad dick but even a bad cookie is still pretty good
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