i was like the pretty and slutty 8th grade girl who goes to a party, gets wasted, and ends up having sex with a senoir
details?
alcohol + bed + penis = sex
At the Phils game. My gay buddy just wanted up to a bunch of Mets fans and said "I'm gay, and even I think Mets fans are a bunch of fags." I love this fuckin town.
she's naming her girl london marie
that kid will be born with a tramp stamp
I am currently prioritizing my hw by splitting into things i can and things i cant do drunk. Oh college
he actually proposed, and i threw up on him...i guess 5 glasses of wine was a bad idea.
It's my fault there's ramen coiled around his penis.
Do you think she's aware of my deep hatred or should I set her hair on fire in her sleep?
At the same time. Hot men feeding me brownies. In between rounds of sex.
Saturday at 4 is jello wrestling sponsored by the senior class council. That's why my school is awesome. Boom.
You just want to fuck a girl in a dinosaur costume, don't you?
I SWEAR TO GOD IF SHE FUCKS WITH OUR GOLD GENE POOL
After we hooked up, his roommate shouted "I LIKE TO HAVE SEX TOO" from across the apartment
I was really hoping my 420 would involve a lot more weed and a lot less buttholes
i love you and all, but can that be the last orgy with your wife?
You were just laying there on the air mattress watching spongebob with a knife. We tried to take it from you, but you insisted it was your emergency escape in case you started to float off.
Randomize
