Just dunked an oreo in a white russian. Trying to think of a better experience in my life and failing.
Nothing like a little anal leakage to start off Sunday morning. Can't decide if that speaks well of my weekend or not...
if that blanket by the dog bowl was your dog's "bed" then i apologize to bailey for having sex on it
You were in subway at 3am showing everyone your tan lines
Weve literally been going out drinking five days a week. That counts as a full time job right?
You are number one in my heart. But in the dick Olympics you're disqualified.
This guy just asked me to stab his arm with my keys to make sure he wasn't dying.
I spent half an hours grinding with a drunk Harry Potter cosplayer at the con rave. Pretty sure I felt his wand.
He fucking took my shirt off and didn't even touch my boobs. What the actual fuck.
Giiiirl. Just had a BM that almost killed me.
Last night at the bar you we're seriously going up to people and pushing through them like they were bowling pins and you were a bowling ball
i had every intention of working out now im just drinking wine and thinking about taking nudes in my thigh high tube socks
Just stay awake and booze cruise it to class. How are you a senior and have never went to class drunk? No excuses, I have a better gpa.
when your dumb AF ex “accidentally” venmos you $50 and texts you asking for it back..... —sorry I accidentally deleted your number and cashed out
Lol. I liked you the most when we were banging random girls and trying to tag team everything. You were happier then.
Randomize
