sometimes you have to go after what you want
true. and i really want to cum
I call it my summer of slut; except summer lasts from May until December. It's been incredibly successful
I smell like I just crawled out of a bottle of champagne and landed on the floor of taco bueno.
Just saw a homeless man taking a shower in someone's sprinkler system....
In the UK. Bar special, every drink costs a pound. I'm two shots away from being deported. God save the queen.
If you value your immune system buddy, walk away from that one.
I sent him a bunch of texts telling him that his beard wasn't long enough yet so we couldn't fuck and to text me back in a few hours if it had.
i think the title to my autobiography shall be, "a bottle of vodka and various pieces of meat"
and this is why you're my favorite gay friend.
And I'm stuck at home while my dad's in vegas hanging out with Zach gali... Zach... That guy from the hangover
HEY. NO. THIS IS ABOUT YOU RIGHT NOW. YOUR COCK, MY MOUTH, THATS IT.
HAPPY BIRTHDAY I ATE TOO MUCH OF AN EDIBLE AND TOLD MY BARISTA I LOVED HER
You woke up in between the boxspring and the matress in a random dorm room.
GIIIIRL I AM STONED AF AND I HAVE A HOMEMADE POT PIE IN THE OVEN THIS PARTY IS LIT.
ugh, my whole family is going ape shit over my sister's pregnancy blog. I dont get it? Anyone can get knocked up! I had rebound sex with a new york ranger last night, now that is something to fucking blog about.
I just peed on myself the semester has officially began.
Randomize
