I was in a threesome last night that turned into a violent domestic dispute with damage to a hotel. Wish you were there!
how in the hell can u get pulled over when ur car is parked.
It was just a friend comforting a friend. Except his penis was inside of me.
somebody put my brain in a crown royal bag and beat the shit out of it
All I know is that your reaction after this date with him was "I think I did cocaine" so I'm sold on this boy
I decided not to eat, and then this man was my fairy " don't black out" godmother
Day drinking! Today! (tomorrow too!) Our place! Whenever you get off work! Ready go!
To drink from my fkask next to a cop car or to not drink from my flask next to a cop car
I will be single by the day my lease is up (234 days). Plan accordingly.
he thought it would be funny to put his dick inside a beer bottle and wear it around. until we all realized how small his dick would have to be to fit in a beer bottle
Well sure, my hetero side is thrilled, but my gay side is soooo judging
You introduced yourself and she said "wow that's a long name" and you went "yeah well you should see my dick."
I just watched my ex butt chug a quart of eggnog. Why did I dump her again?
I mean seriously with your cock and my tits combined we could rule the world. Pinky and the brain style
I'm going to blackout. I realize this
Randomize
