Her life has all the ingredients for a how to book: Making Your Life an Epic Fail
you kept running around the room with a flask shouting "so much room for activities!" then someone tripped you and you passed out
He told me about his girlfriends trust issues during our post sex spooning
That's so unfortunate for him bc you can always find another penis, but he's stuck with it
There's going to be a pool, lightsabers and alcohol. What could go wrong?!
Sober me does NOT approve of what went on in my pants last night.
Sometimes I envy you, when I'm not praying for your soul.
Nvm, he just almost drank his drink from last night, his drink that has the condom in it. Kinda answers my question.
He showed up at my house, drunk, proclaiming that he needed to fuck me...my dad let him in
As soon as the clock wound down to zero, she declared "HALF-TIME HEAD" and pulled down my pants. After the swallow, she said "BEER CHASER," got me a new one, and asked if she could make me a sandwich. Pretty sure she's lobbying hard for a ring.
He sent me a slow motion video of him jerking off...it was so long (the video not his dick) even I felt awkward watching it alone
idk how I feel so profoundly understood by someone whose latest tweet is "labia majora's mask." but I do.
Have you ever drank bourbon in your underwear while wearing a Santa hat and reflecting on the decisions of your life? Asking for a friend.
I forgot wine drunk hurts
I cannot believe I accepted his penis into my body.
Randomize
