we are all sexual creatures
yea maybe. but you're not. you're not getting any.
Pretty sure I only gave out my other # though. You know, 777 777-7777
Hahaha. So was it a Freudian slip, or wishful thinking? ;)
Could be either seeing as you're in my phone as "3rd bar" and I couldn't pick you outta a line up.
she thought don quixote was a type of tequila.
They are providing beer and having a margarita machine. This cannot be passed up.
I need you to come over. Im crying, day drinking and working out simultaneously.
My roommate says its rare that you can be tear gassed before you lose your virginity so i feel accomplished in life
The cop asked you if you had been drinking and you said you drank milk out of a cow.
I rememeber. I showed him the picture on my phone of me drinking out of the utter, right?
She kept talking about how amazing the banana she had yesterday was. Don't know if it was innuendo, stoned, or just a really amazing banana.
So mom called me from the hospital laughing her ass off. Apparently my sister is allergic to cocaine...
Is she still in your room?
Not for long. My plan is to smoke her out like a small woodland creature.
I can't tell if you're talking about my pussy or Cape Cod.
He came home at 2 AM on roller skates with his hair dyed pink while singing "Sweet Transvestite" and throwing glitter on all of us and everything we own. We had to call a cleaning guy.
Apparently stoned me thought eating chips in the shower was a good idea.
the next morning we realized we didnt speak the same language... guess i subconsciously did learn a little german last semester. thanks study abroad.
ah the experiences a semester in Vienna can give you. Frau would enjoy knowing that even while sleeping during class you still managed to learn enough german to get laid
this is a mass text: the cage has been opened. repeat, the cage has been opened. a search party will be organized. you are all sloppy bitches. that is all.
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