You know you're hung over when your pose in art class is lying face down on the platform
What do you mean you don't pregame your bikini waxes?
I'm trying to spell out I love you with a series of photos of my penis, but I just realized I can't do the Y of you
test run with donkey pinata disastrous. broken glass and tequila EVERYWHERE
You better of fucked him last night or do it now because he is buying all the roommates McDonald's.
I don't care if we have to swim home from the bar, Im not gonna sit home in the dark and read some fucking book
Oh god he's like Julia Roberts in pretty woman... And I'm the one who's gotta make a lady out of him.
It's amazing how not interested in talking to him I am since I've decided that he probably has chlamydia.
You slammed your face into the toilet and declared you were moving your bed into the bathroom in the morning. Also, you insisted on crawling everywhere because feet are "overrated."
I woke up the other day with my Google browser open to "DIY lip injections"... I also just received a vial of hyaluronic acid and a package of TB syringes from amazon. I'm down.
I will have no part of this.
Is this like a preordered booty call?
I'll screw just about anything, but I draw the line there
Did you poop on the roof?
WTH?
Is that a no?
Tomorrow has nothing to do with the threesome
I am the one with the vagina. I get to call it.
This is bullshit, I shit my pants for the 1st time in 30 years, stuck on the 405, fuck this shit.
Depends
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