i now understand why he chose to have sex with my friend rather then me after lookin in the mirror this morning. and id do the same thing.
My mom just informed me that my dog licks their toes while her and my dad are having sex. I'm apartment searching.
I am too high to leave where I am...And they are listening to Stained. This is my living hell.
I just chased the everclear with Listerine...I think I found my new chaser!
She has never blacked out. I have tried to get her to so many times. Apparently it's a lot harder than we make it out to be.
Just rolled over and found your boyfriend in bed with me. Is mine at your house?
If you wake up tomorrow and start to wonder.... Yes you did just eat mild sauce from taco bell out of the package while informatively yelling about the loss of my virginity
I thought he was walking around the front. I just hit and run my booty call. I'm the worst non girlfriend ever
bad news.. campus security walked me home last night and when i tried to tell them where i lived they assured me they knew where our house was.
I think they were making kool-aid in my bed. There is lots of sugar and my hands and face are stained blue.
I FOUND THE NORMAL CONDOMS. THIS IS GOD TELLING ME TO CHASE AFTER MY DREAM.
Why are you taking pics in the bathroom with the plunger? I mean you still look hot and I'm totally going to wack off to it.
Opened my notebook to coke all over the pages. So, if that's any indication on how this weekend went.
I apologize for using the phrase "monster cock hentai porn shit" to describe that guy I picked up last week.
I was cock-blocked by a swat team last night.
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