im sorry i didnt take advantage of you..iwaned to
i wanted you to too
He just told me he would murder a thousand dolphins to be with me. Quite the charmer.
youre totally missing out on eating your boogers right now. my entire face is numb
herpes texted me again. he says he wants my vagina.
ok we should really consider changing this guys nickname...
Mother fucker. I'm a 30J now. I'm fucking speechless
i love being in ibiza. their hotels are much more receptive to walking around naked in the lobby than our american ones.
How do you say "I'm not pregnant in Spanish?"
He did a 4 wheel burnout and yelled at the cops "Sorry! It's for a school project!". HOW does he think of this shit?
While you wait, fill out your state patrol application. Not trying to be your mom, I just really want to fuck a cop.
Your "dubstep at ceilis" resulted in a random naked guy busting into my room and peeing all over my bathroom
So when this rash is gone wanna hang out?
Sounds good. Look at us. Planning sex like proper adults.
You were discovered in a bush, smoking, and singing "in the jungle" to yourself. Which explains the scratches, but not the orange paint.
We were in his kitchen and she turned to me with a straight face and an avocado in her hand and said "Can we steal this?"
i look like i'm walk-of-shaming but i'm really showered and re-clothed and rallying. i fool everyone
Randomize
