were you the shorter or taller girl out of you two
Literally like 10 people walking in my building talking about how much they hate draco
We were making out and then he stopped and said to me, "Your ship is right there, why don't you take your people and just go?"
I'm sitting at home, day drinking, while watching crossroads with brittany spears. I'm not the person you should be asking for advice right now.
I had to keep telling myself 'you can't be mad at him because you peed on him'
I need a kidney, not a pussy. All the pussy in the world isn't going to save my life. Keep your pussy in your pants and give me a kidney.
They're playing house music in my dentists office again, wtf is wrong with these people. That's not the music you want to get a root canal to
Sex and sushi don't even sound good right now... I might be on my death bed. To my Liz, I leave my extensive movie collection and my drinking supplies. To Olive I leave my car. Cause every Scottish terrier needs a 2010 Camaro.
I just found a voice recording from Tanya's bachelorette party when we found you drunk in downtown being harassed by a crazy dude dressed like a clown and we rescued you. Attached is a voice recording of me interviewing you after we found you. I titled it Carlos Batman.
Sooooooo this guy just asked me if I'd be interested in a threesome... I'm considering bc I would get to hang out with his dog afterwards.
If I take one more surprise finger up the ass this week there will be hell to pay.
We almost drove away from the bar with a British stranger in our trunk...
It was a fun night! I woke up with a boyfriend, again....
Pretty sure I was naked for most of the night.....success
My brain is like a TV with 10 channels, 9 of them are static and the other one just plays that one Nagito Komaeda edit on loop 24/7
Randomize
