Kay wants to put chicklets in our cooters to make beavers and take pix captioned Got Wood? Taking public transit does scary things to her.
turns out I still hate jay leno...even at 10pm.
The best part about the NBA starting up is I get to see Charles Barkley make a fool out of himself for 8 months
I'm surrounded by 3 year olds in tutus. They are far too innocent to be within at least 500 ft of me.
We're trying to decide between cracker barrel an the ER
Traveling before 21 and traveling after 21 are two different things. There's a whole nother world of red white and blue weird out there
So, since you're now a four night stand, I feel comfortable asking: Did I leave my sunglasses at your house? Or my underwear?
Just got a ride from a stranger while walking a mile home as it hailed with no coat. He asked me if I smoked, then said he just made some potent cookies and I could have one.
The cookie was what I originally wanted to tell you. Always say yes to drugs from strangers
I am the worst person to have nipple rings I'm hanging ornaments off of then and sending everyone a tits the season to be jolly
MY HISTORY TEACHER IS FUCKING MY MOTHER. I am downstairs and i can hear the squeak of the bedsprings please I swear to god pick me up THIS INSTANT.
Just as an add on, don't expect me to wear matching bra and underwear. If I do, I'm probably drunk and it's your fucking birthday. Have a great night.
...this is why fuck buddies should be only for grownups.
sometimes i forget what nice tits i have and then i spend a month brushing my teeth naked in the front of the bathroom mirror, and i remember.
Come cuddle! I'll be passed out somewhere in the library. It'll be like a scavenger hunt!
Just saw a car towing a guy on skis drive by so that’s how Syracuse is doing today.
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