I cont stop tolking in a british axsent
question: masturbation: how much is too much? I think i'm about to tip toe a fine line
FB needs to have a relationship status called...screwing my roommates bf..linking their names would be an easier to tell her!
smoking weed is really the only logical conclusion to hangovers
FYI, when you wake up, please note that I puked in your shoes because I sstubbed my tooee, not becus I was drunk.
you called your neighbor "slutsauce" then passed out on the stairway. not even sure why, but props to you.
Shes sitting on the front porch puking in to the pumpkin she just carved...in the rain. I guess pumpkin spice tequila shots wasnt our best idea.
I'm not liking this ratio of moving to blowjobs...
Drunkenly bought a $240 realtor course last night. Apparently even drunk me thinks my future is going nowhere
I can't. I think his penis is about to take out a restraining order against me.
I walked by the two of them and mouthed "fuck me" based on there reaction I think they just came in their pants
as much bud light as i have consumed over the years budweiser should give me a clydesdale
Her vagina is like the upper echelon of Scientology and I don't have enough money to get in
I would climb him like a jungle gym. Enthusiastically and creatively.
I just called my kid butt plug. Does that make me a bad mommy??
This may be the most diplomatic thing you've ever said
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