I hate my date so much right now for even thinking I want to do the electric slide.
even through the webcam i could tell he was aiming for my face/hair
when a 14 year old is judging you, you know you've had too much to drink
I wore a leash I'll tell you about it later I had a fantastic time
Your panties and toothbrush are in your mailbox. just not ready to be with anyone serious. take care.
you better take a shot tonight for every cat you have ever seen and wanted. this is a lot of cats.
You are not allowed to borrow my car ever again. It smells like a hobo orgy happened in my backseat with a hint of onion. What did you do.
I just read "to infinity and beyond" as "to infidelity and beyond" something is seriously wrong with my psyche
You get home okay?
I'm pantless and in bed
That doesn't mean you're at home.
Watching boy meets world, drinking left over pink panty droppers and coloring in a my little pony coloring book. This is my Monday night
Snaps to my Ella Fitzgerald station for such a jazzy walk of shame
Sometimes I just want to kiss you without you pulling ur cock out and waving it at me
I'm in jersey with marbles.. He's blasted about to fuck a manatee and his entire family is trying to stop it. His mother punched me in the chest for not trying hard enough
i just want things to go smoothly
oh they won't lmao
Lesson Learned: It's not a party until someone pisses their pants.
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