Just saw actual Chinese people doing a Chinese firedrill. Good day.
you kept typing in answers.com, why are the state police calling my house, expecting an answer
you're wrong. we DID have sex last night. just ask your roommate. you seriously don't remember him asking to join us?
noooo, I woke up on his pack porch and the SUN WAS RISING. I saw red lights everywhere and heard sirens so I just ran for my life.
How did a couple beers and monopoly turn into a bottle of vodka and throwing eggs at eachother in the kitchen?
Come down here. We are watching people walk through the paper we taped in front of the elevator.
He fell asleep and I'm awkwardly laying here because all I have to wear is my tutu. I'm pretty sure his roommate is going to be back soon so this should be fun. This is my life now. PS. the background of his phone is a picture of his hedgehog.
Why do the people I hook up with still exist after we're done?
How did it go last night?
Woke up head half shaved and a burrito? So good and bad?
They were scared I was going to get lost last night so they dressed me up as Waldo so someone would always find me.
Why is it that every study session with you turns into a hunt for drugs?
Welp, dad and I drunkenly sang Christmas carols until the police told us to stop. I vote Xmas eve a success
But I aced my quizzes. Apparently flash card beer pong is an acceptable form of studying.
Only true party girls take their birth control with Smirnoff.
I walked in the kitchen and heard her saying "We could have been so good together" as she caressed an egg with her cheek.
Randomize
