that girl last night was a 15
wait she was 15?
no like black jack not sure if you should hit it
I have glitter on my penis. Do you know anything about this?
Charging the asians next door to us $5 a page to print their final papers because theirs broke. Bars close in 2 hours, lets go
Forgot to mention...Pamela Anderson has HPV, so i feel like im in good company
The puppy is a lightweight. 3 beers and he's passed out on the floor already. I repeat, the puppy is a lightweight.
FYI If I die in my sleep it is because I drank a bottle of coke from 1986. I needed a mixer
We need more drag queens in our life I've decided
When we were fucking he said and I quote "we're like a sex fajita"
I will never understand why the dress to get laid party is always scheduled to be during family weekend. Its not even ironically funny.
I am going to MURDER whoever gave him my phone number but it was probably drunk me so I'm conflicted.
In other news, Justin Bieber has a big dick and that makes me uncomfortable.
"suitors" is just a nice way of her saying "the guys i'm fucking"
After dropping your phone on the ground you got down and sat with it, kissed it and apologized for being so mean
well you did quote socrates while playing beer pong and then proceeded to fall down
Honestly, I am sitting in my room watching Ciara videos and thinking I am super jealous of how she rides it.
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