She said if it slipped out one more time she was going to duct tape it in her vagina
around noonish you got carried out for spitting water and throwing cups at old people...
Is it sanitary to roast marshmallows over a cigarette lighter?
Just filled up my pledge keg goblet with coffee at bp. They can judge all they want. At least I'm not killing baby dolphins.
debating whether or not to save the package from my first plan b pill. it would be a nice addition to any baby book.
there is laundry and salad ALL OVER my car, i need context
Already puke and ralleyd and dressed like a bear.
I am fine. Katie thinkr i broke things pole dancing. I am coherant.
its not like i called off work either time for the purpose of tripping, it was more like well, i have nothing to do now today, there is acid and im only human.. but twice
Sometimes you just gotta get high and go to a planetarium. Why can't he understand that?
Idk how much of a virgin he is but I'm tryna find out.
yeah it's a weird friendship. we pretend that we're automatic besties but i know we both know i slept with her boyfriend
I don't get it. If he broke into Taco Bell at 2 am, then why couldn't he have brought me home a fucking taco???
I texted him: “Come over for the Super Bowl. I promise lots of scoring.”
My divorce is turning into a porn script
On a scale of one to 10 how Risky is it to sleep with a married man (all morals set aside)
Randomize
