god I hate her. why can't she just fuck and leave like a normal slut.
I'm too high to be shopping. I just contemplated deoderant for fifteen minutes. Now testing pillows
If they made snuggies with a sleeve for my morning wood, id consider buying one...
I told her at least we still had each other. That's when she started crying.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Drinking with birthday clown in the backyard shed at a 5 year olds birthday party at 12 in the afternoon. My life doesn't need any adjustments
they pretty much knew i was there to get drunk and fuck their daughter
Help. Me. He just whispered 'prepare yourself', & sprayed hairspray everywheres to make sure the 'air was crisp'
After I gave him a handjob for a half an hour he told me I should be a taxidermist. I'm gonna take it as a compliment.
Then you bent down and whispered, "excuse me mr. Stair, could you please stop moving?"
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I have the best idea for a new business. It's going to be called "Lamb-Scape". We are going to cut lawns using lambs. You just put 5 or 6 on a lawn and they eat the grass #allnatural
YOU SAID YOU WERE OUT OF POT
..........
Suspicion confirmed. my mom has her nipples pierced
Way to crack the case Nancy Drew
I'm convinced he's the patron saint of oral sex
I'm covered in glow paint and I can't find my shirt. So, successful night
So like if I threw up in my purse is that "don't ever show your face in public again" worthy or just slightly frowned upon
Saw a sign that said the chorus of never gonna give you up was enough time to wash your hands. Coronavirus has Rick rolled me.
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