you said youd get me home safely, you dropped me off at 9:30 last night and i just woke up on my porch.
these two guys are about to go shot for shot with syrup
now he is talking to a potato
it got awkward when the only couple not hooking up was just watching..
Tell your boss that he's keeping you from eating a fuck sundae off of these 36-24-36 34 D's waiting for you at home on Valentine's Day.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
i just woke up reverse cowgirl on my couch. fully clothed. my laptop is on the floor sideways. blasting gay porn and lady gaga. pizza crust everywhere. goodmorning.
No no no...you park the car, stick your tongue down his throat, slip your number in his pocket, invite him to insomnia, and THEN LEAVE. You go from awkward to epic in a matter of seconds.
Is it bad that I'm tracking my period with Instagram pictures?
new district manager is here. you need to come in early
5th mimosa says otherwise
I'm more worried that you thought licking a pole on Bourbon street would turn me on
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Being engaged is strange. I looked at my cock this morning and said, "we did alright these last 32 years, right?"
I can't wait til me and pit bull can just be together
I just lectured my ex boyfriend on how to eat a girl out what has my life come to
get your sex hands out of my capn crunch
remember that party we went to sophomore year where we found that girl and had the orgy? Im totally at that house right now.
The hump and dump is a beautiful thing
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