How come twittering sounds sexual?
Because of Bambi.
I mean i might have to drop this class tomorrow. I just walked into a midterm
I love the moment a guy admits defeat against the front clasping bra.
She talked about nothing but beanie babies for 45 minutes. I'm never getting high with her again.
Apparently I was holding on to a pizza crust for hours last night.
I need to think of the best way to tell this boy he's not getting his pants back
There would be some who claim I got a little "carried away" or that we "probably don't need that many jello shots". They would be wrong.
Sorry that I was such a monster last night. It was the drugs, I promise.
Fuck you know you drunk when you start signing the Masson impossjvke song to entourage yourself to pee
So i had a lucid dream about blowing myself. This is why people love me
I woke up and my pants were in the kitchen but my shoes were next to my bed. Do the math...
He woke up from being passed out on the couch mumbled something that sounded like "Taco" then proceeded to the bathroom only to pass out again, I think we need to learn how to party like him!
You know its a good night when ur woken up by the bartender asking you how he ended up at your house
My alcoholism is old enough to drink.
He’s like Batman if Batman went down on me and gave me multiple toe curling orgasms. He left without saying a word before I pulled the pillow off my face
Find out if he’s shared his techniques with a friend and set me up with him. You know I’ve always had a thing for Robin!!!!
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