That bitch is like a bad destiny's child song.
He just turned on a sound machine. I need to get the fuck out of here.
thats the mark of a good guy. when you can period all over his leg and he still thinks you're beautiful!
But you wanna know what the sadest part is? I had to smoke on the way back home cause my mom would be suspicious if I wasn't high after I was supposedly hanging out with you.
4 girls bringing me taco bell. this is what dreams are made of.
You are such a cockblock sometimes
You NEED a cockblock sometimes
You're the only true friend I have, if true friendship is based off who would be there for me at 4am during a boxed wine crisis.
I considered my 2012 starting right when the cop followed the wrong car for the bottle rocket we shot at him
Want to come over and rub aloe on my tits?
listen. he fixes things. buys me drinks and sticks his penis in my vagina. age means nothing at this low point in my life.
All I want is to get as high as I did that time I started hallucinating that my brother was becoming a monkey and I saw my mum on every surface of your room.
If I could go one week without being called a maneater or a spanish trolip that would be great.
When we became besties with benefits we agreed I could still get dick
I didn't think I'd have to specify "not my Dad"
can jess come too?
sure! but I don't have enough booze for the both of you.
she comes with her own booze, no worries.
So, do I need to remind you to keep it classy tonight?
No, because if you have to be reminded it isn't classy.
Randomize
