I gave her the chance to be interesting and she failed. So then I gave her a chance to be slutty and she failed at that too.
Lady next to me is getting american flags airburshed on her nails. god bless the ghetto.
Michelle found a bong in the garbage and sold it to my mom
is there an easy way to say "i didnt plan on sleeping with you until i saw how drunk you were" ?
eating taco bell the same day as formal = probably a bad idea
i don't think i ever formally apologized for that time i threw up on your dog.... well...here it is...
I apparently spent $173 at the bar last night. The proof is in the vomit on my pillow and the receipt I tried to clean it up with.
"it's Wednesday" isn't a good enough excuse to take my debit card and use it for your own drunken needs. You owe me 250 bro
Wanna hang out? my DILF had to dip out for his sons little league game
it says 'tasty bitch' in sharpie on my tits...
Pretty sure that molly fried my sinus infection away; i regret nothing
it's 1:30pm and i'm eating cheese while i sext. i need hobbies
I want to find him again. His Corona tank top and I were made for each other.
you know you're sexually deprived when you're holding a warm taquito in your hand and your vagina starts to tingle
I regret nothing
Not even Married Dan?
I regret one thing
Randomize
