Well. Nothing came of that. And to think I manscaped and dusted with gold bond.
Report just came out that Tim Tebow is a virgin but I have proof he is not. He's bent Florida State over the last four years in a row.
I drank gravy. I actually drank gravy. This is heaven.
I think he'd cut a tree down for me. He's from North Dakota. That's something hot guys do there, right?
Any parent would be proud to have a daughter that's a blowjob fairy
She threw up on me during morning sex and now Im pretty sure I just saw a woman die at 7-eleven. This is way too much for a Monday morning
Not rlly sure. Might just drink and sleep. Gotta wake up for my last rabies shot lol
You're just horny.
Yea, and? I appreciate you as a person too if that helps.
He's trying to marry me, when is the appropriate time to tell him my real name and that Dallas is a completely fictitious slutty alter ego? I need the advice of someone with morals.
"I'm looking more at his dick bulge." Never thought I'd hear those words come out of my boyfriend's mouth.
I would use the term shit faced but I'm too polite for that
EITHER I'M HIGH OR JUST REACHED A NEW LEVEL OF SINGLE FEMALE SADNESS BECAUSE THIS BROWNIE IS GIVING ME ORGASMS
You're doing screenings before you set me up again- no child sized dicks allowed.
I brought those bastards cookies so they can deal with my sex noise, fuck them and their roommate asses
Did u guys seriously make a betting pool on when im going to get pregnant???
Yep, wanna bid?
Randomize
