there are seriously like six guinea pigs in my bathtub right now
We're learning about the color wheel. Hello college.
Dude give me 4 good reasons we shouldn't trade girlfriends tonight
sitting in my room in a shopping cart. they couldnt get my legs out of the holes. i want breakfast.
I'm. Arresyed bur sierra ue obbe of mt vet friends. I hope we can tyajk ane gwt ob the same page. Ur aweaome ttyl.
I was like a damn cattle dog, I separated all the sheep, I can wing man for anyone on this campus.
Just had the best idea EVER: start a mead brewing/dispensery business! WE CAN BREW IT IN MY GIANT CLOSET, AND NEVER BE SOBER AGAIN.
Handcuffed our DD to a naked stripper don't think he will try to sneak out
He can pick locks you know
That's the reason for the naked stripper
Btw when I was saying "fuck you" I meant it like "be quiet beautiful princess"
i love it when bitches who pick on you in high school get fat. thank you facebook you have made my day.
All I remember is the bartender saying your sucking them down and waking up on the floor in my underwear
I made a half way decent playlist
Im gonna call it "hanging myself"
My professor just paused class to answer a phone call from her dog. Im taking shots before this class from now on.
I have finally found someone I enjoy for reasons that do not necessarily include his dick
He is obviously into the really short sex we have.
Randomize