and then you made a playlist that was just "party in the usa" on repeat...
im pretty sure all they do is fuck. and talk in baby talk. its two babys fucking basically.
He dated me before I started drinking. I feel like he deserves a consolation bj for all the effort he had to put in to get in my pants.
Ok so I could say "im sorry"...but instead ill just say "unsupervised...jager...military guys...green school bus called the juice box...and HUGE dick"
I'm hoping that banging a 24 year old 3 times cancels out banging that freshman on Wednesday
You know summer is almost over when ur school booty calls start hitting u up as if solidifying their spot in drunken mistakes for next semester
Btw. Made out with a random kid at a frat. It's all good though. He invited us to his frat party tomorrow so yay! For having plans!
Had a dream I beat up niall then madeout with him while snorting coke out of a dragons egg
How on earth did you break your wrist?
I went into someone's yard so I could pee and I found a tireswing
Just walked in on him banging another girl. He told me " sorry but I'm gonna finish now that I'm caught" ...... I think this is the reason god gave me four older brothers....
Have you seen him ? Seriously. No one is that straight.
I went to work hungover and threw up in the break room. Told them I was pregnant and then said I quit. I don't have a job now, thanks vodka.
Its like people have to train for months before they try and drink with us and survive...
I’m vetoing meatball margaritas right out the gate. We can’t have people throwing up again!
He ate me out in a golf cart while I watched the sunset. You are so right, golf skirts do provide amazing access.
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