pop tarts are not kleenex
She had a little wicker basket of condoms by her bed. Disturbing yet convenient.
Do you think the Slutcracker will use the original score? I'll be so sad if they don't.
The bloodstain in the garden looks like a sad face. Like I don't already know this is bad...
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
A beer fell out of the case, hit the ground and started spraying. He's a pro. He grabbed it and shotgunned it while still holding the case.
Apparently riding the dog like its a small horse is frowned upon in this establishment
You said eat breakfast. So i poured Baileys on top of m&m's. It taste just like like cereal I swear.
Getting arrested together sounded so much more fun in theory.
Note to self: don't tell your girlfriends dad you can have his daughter in bed by ten and home by midnight. He doesnt find it funny
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
You carried me up the stairs after I told you not to. And what did you tell me? "Let me test my strengths."
I have what looks like a rubber stamp mark on my cock from last night that says "Magic Marla Approved" Do we know a Marla?
What's the polite way to tell someone she's a grown ass woman and she needs to start acting like it.
yeah i wanted to show him what i was missing, so i decided to send him a seductive picture, like the ones where the girls are eating strawberries and whipped cream. well i didn't have those, so i sent him a picture of myself naked eating a bagel
You drank the pool water to get rid of your hiccups
His face will be in my vagina later so I'm willing to forgive.
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