Anything crazier than usual happen? I woke up in a stairway with my cock out.
I'm outside your house...sorry I feel like I don't need formal invites anymore.
Just took 11th shot of tequila. I may puke in my bear head.
Beware of calls from Dad. I just had a longer than I would care to admit convo about the ididarod. Apparently it starts tomorrow.
Just lifeguarded a kid's party hungover so I could afford to go out drinking tonight. Circle of life shit goin on here.
Please God, is a penis possibly making it to vagina town to much to ask for tonight.
I woke up with my name tag for work still on my shirt. It was a rough night.
I'm basically your average "grandpa stuck in a 28 year old woman's body" - i'm super passionate about retirement and crossing on the walk signal.
and SLEEP god I love sleep
I hope dressing like a sexy, but very grown up and intelligent, secretary while out shopping helps disguise how high I am right now.
How the fuck do you get a noise complaint filed against you at 9:30am on a fucking Tuesday?
Not to play devil's advocate, but, considering how our species has evolved so far... I'm kinda rooting for the sun on the whole heat death thing.
I don't know what to say to you.
I don't know what I said to you. Start with that.
I'm so high I have morphed into the monopoly man. Or maybe the Pringles guy. I don't know but I have a mustach now
Do you know how hard it is to have sex on an air matress while there are people sleeping in the same room?!?!?
We were peeing side by side on the riverbank together and I felt like nothing brings you closer than drunken riverbank urinating so I caught her a friendship frog to wipe with since we left the tp in the canoe.
Randomize
