xbox live and facebook are tricking me into believing I actually have an active social life
quick I need to know all the foods that the very hungry caterpillar ate
The sex was so not worth the four dollars it cost to drive over the bridge
I lost of the blow last night. Found it later in my bag labeled Fairy Dust.
this text is just filler to avoid a lull in the conversation
So I was blaaazed. & while he was in me all I kept thinking was how bad I'd rather be watching The Office.
Found him fucking some random drunk chick in the bathrrom at the blue lep with a beer in each hand. had to give him props.
The judge mental looks i am getting while looking at porn on my phone sitting in the urgent care waiting room is gonna get way worse when they find out im here to see if im pregnant
I have better things to do with my life than be faithful.
i spilled a box of white cheddar cheezits on the bathroom floor about 2 days ago. when i went back to the house he yelled at me from the bathroom: "THANKS FOR THE CHEEZITS, I'll ALWAYS HAVE A SNACK FOR WHEN IM SHITTING NOW!"
he's like watermelon oreos; I know they're gross and weird and I shouldn't like them, but I can't stop eating them because they're there.
Toppless hop-scotch needs to become a competitive sport
if i do community service solely to impress a guy, everyone wins, right?
except your soul
We grabbed as many adult diapers as we could and made a run for it.
I just made the same noise looking at my salami sandwich as I do hooking up with you.
Randomize
