I missed Saved by the Bell this morning, but Ashley in a later episode of Fresh Prince is keeping the morning wood alive.
she keeps a pillow, blanket, and a pack of saltines under the bathroom sink, for "rough nights".
I am currently eating pure cake frosting...I am not sure how I was ever referred to as a responsible adult.
pro-tip: weed infused snickerdoodles are far less conspicuous to eat at work than brownies. no one ever suspects the snickerdoodle.
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I woke up with hair in my teeth and half his beard was missing.
She told me that for every Ravens touchdown, I'd get to come once.
Marry her. Marry her now. I'll help you steal the ring.
Just fat and dog and sweat all over the bed. All night long.
So lets not base feelings on vagina tingles
Masturbating during the Olympics and cumming during the national anthem really is everything it's cracked up to be. Just thought you should know.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
You took one look at him and said "let's hope I don't remember this tomorrow" then you took another shot and chased it with a beer.. I guess it was a success.
Why the fuck am I at this dorm meeting? I don't pay $50,000 a year to stay sober.
You literally asked him, “Do you come here often? Do you want to visit my vagina?” With no hesitation
you stood in front of the mirror for 20 minutes and finally said, "he can hear everything i'm saying inside my head. we need to leave." now try and tell me there is no such thing as too high.
Since moving to the suburbs, all I do is fuck my ex and watch cartoons. It's not so bad.
I Never thought my late 30s would end up with me getting eaten out on a desk in the managers office of a lululemon, but I guess being a franchise owner has its perks!
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