You should never have let annie watch you have sex with other women
Anywhere you can eat green eggs and ham, you can have sex.
She's holding my hand. I'm going to kill myself.
and you're not allowed to put a penis in you if it's attached to a 26 year old who works at blockbuster
advice for life: when the cop takes your tallboy, don't ask for your coozy back
He didn't seem too mad about the puke on the side of his car. You still have a chance.
Gees I domt know what your deal was. You kept looking at Nick and shaking your head frantically and doing a weird motion with your hands
Tgat was the small dick alert
You carried me up the stairs after I told you not to. And what did you tell me? "Let me test my strengths."
Chipotle. Because when you've had diarrhea for 6 days why not just make it 7
my spring break was before theirs and i literally fed him vodka all week, only stopping for class and bowls. like handles. i cant even think anymore, that chastity belt was hard to get off,
There we go, I shall begin my attempt to achieve whore status today
Guy just walked into the bathroom with only socks on and took a 5second shit. It is taking me longer to type this than for him to shit, wash hands, and leave the bathroom. WTF? Still wondering why he only had socks on.
GIIIIRL I AM STONED AF AND I HAVE A HOMEMADE POT PIE IN THE OVEN THIS PARTY IS LIT.
we decided to take the jello everclear shot at the party...didnt think it tasted any different....o dear god...the regret..
So how often do you needs to see my tits today then?
Randomize
