Getting blown during the Cavs game doesn't make it any less depressing.
Ok Ghana you win again. Tell you what...Double or nothing over women's tennis, basketball, hockey, war, baseball, golf, swimming, diving, oil spills, box office proceeds, internet porn sites, criminals incarcerated, women's downhill, bass fishing, NASCAR, or GDP?
on a brighter note, the strip club found my atm card
Frozen waffles and wine. Loneliness-party of one
Breakfast=the leftover margarita in my car. Have a great day.
Also I had a dream we made my birth control into a joint. What does that mean?
He snapchatted me his dick and he's circumcised....BRB going to hug his Mom
We smoked bowls and watched Cops for what seemed like hours. And yet I know I'll go back.
Naked chocolate chip pancake making. I just spilled mix all over the place. My boobs are covered in flour. This is not going well.
I feel like it went downhill once I decided we should take $100 tequila shots.. oops lol
Other than unclothed paranormal encounters, how has your day been
All my female reproductive organs were screaming HELL YES last night.
I woke up only wearing a Breaking Bad "Los Pollos Hermanos" apron he got from Loot Crate next to a 3 empty bottles of Zima,Jolly Ranchers, and a jar of coconut oil. Fernet is one hell of a party starter
You told your boyfriend he needed to fuck you in the tree because it would make you guys one with nature.
Did he?
Dude, you fell into a tree, and both of the tables, AND the window well... Resilient aren't you?
Randomize
