At Bonnaroo. Just saw a couple emerge from a port-a-potty. Romantic?
Sweet. Might not hurt to poop on the floor anyway.
have you facebook stalked him yet?
No, I don’t know his last name...
Just google his license plate numb
iphones do not disturb setting is the biggest cock block to my 3am booty calls
There is naked swordfighting and something green and alcoholic going on in the basement. COME. OVER. NOW.
preface to our conversation: my vagina hurts.
So I found out me and this guy I was drinking beer with tonight both got lactated on by the same stripper. We're milk brothers.
I feel like parents watching our children. You want to step in and help them but you just have to let them make their mistakes
Good. Sleepy. In the middle of a pregnancy scare. The usual.
We could have a classy candlelight sonic dinner with fireball cocktails if you leave now. Twat tickler centerpieces.
Last night she walked off and disappeared from everyone got home at 330 and said she went to the casino with her cab driver.
I can't base my relationships off of good dick and dogs.
I drove them away with my sparkling personality and LOTR references.
I smell like heartbreak.
Tequila and sloppy rebound sex?
How did you know?
I'm just trying to figure out the reason why humans wear socks....
Randomize
