You know how I told you I don't have many naked pics? Apparently that changed last night.
Sorry I couldn't get my dick out
My professor just used "labia" and "numchucks" in the same sentence. I am dying.
I'm finding that as the end of the quarter approaches, the list of things I refuse to do sober keeps getting longer.
Care to explain why there is sushi in the soap dish in the bathroom
Let's just say my vagina is not superimpressed with the superintendent of schools.
he needs to stop knowing everyone on campus...it's making cheating on him really difficult.
Wtf are freshmen gonna think when the first thing they see in a pale 6'4 white kid with a mustache yelling ya man and we be liming in a Trinidadian accent
In honor of Dennis Farina dying, I'm offering up free mustache rides...2 takers so far.
I still can't get over the fact that he thinks I have my life together... That has to be one of the nicest yet most sadly misled things anyone has ever said about me
sex, shower, sex, ice cream sandwiches?
Well you ended up trying to convince two Greek girls that you were Greek, but failed massively by shouting at them in Spanish, and then almost vomiting after taking way too much snuff. Maybe lay off the guinness next time?
Twice. I only peed my pants twice tonight.
Dude. why do I feel like I am cheating on you every time I do shrooms?
"keg stand!" on a roof abruptly turned into "call the medics"
Randomize
