chipotle is closed for thanksgiving... I am officially thankful for NOTHING.
Now there are two cop cars. If I go to jail I just would like to thank you for making me wear boxers.
Who would we be if we didn't go out to drink during finals week? NOBODY
Gooodnight my beautiful sex angel. Much luvz for joo, etceteraz
Watching crazy stupid love and drinking alone isn't what I thought it was gonna be
Its TONS better. Expect a drunk dial at 11:54
We where late for the party because we spent the last hour staring at a towl becase we thought it was a raccoon
Why are there chunks of your hair in everyones pocket?
I decided to mark my territory.
we left when one of the guys tried to stick himself with an IV that he found
I think Facebook knows you fucked me. All of a sudden I get everything you do in my news feed.
It's like God tapped him on the shoulder and said "You are now capable of giving world shattering, tear jerking head."
My desire to pee is a lot higher than my need to be buzzed right now.
Fuck me I smell like cheese
Ya can’t just go throwing accusations around about someone pooping their pants without some hard evidence
so i find a box of condoms inside my car with turn by turn directions to her bedroom... kinda freaked out cause she got my address and somehow inside my car
I just saw a chick driving drinking a juice box smoking all while on the phone that is talent
Randomize
