yeah it was kind of like, i'm 27 and still live in a frat house.. you honestly expect me to have "moral fiber" and a "conscience"
Jake was my 1st thought but I seriously thought u already did him... & then there's the getting the clap story... so I settled on Ben for my guess.
I have done Jake, not Ben. But this was fresh meat. And P.S. it was ghonnerea.
Ahh, yes. It's apparently too early in the morning to keep your partners and their std's straight.
I'm not upset with you; I'm upset with Fox News.
Having sex with her was like reading the Wall Street Journal.
i may or may not have just grinded on your dog thinking it was my boyfriend
so we started it doggy style, but since we were really drunk kinda fell to the side and turned into a 'lazy dog'... my new favorite position btw
He just did a 33 second keg stand with a fractured leg, busted chin and chipped teeth from running into a parked car after winning a race.
this blows. i told the guy at the bar that i was the DD and it was like i just announced over megaphone that i had genital herpes. no one will talk to me now.
The polish Muslims are throwin paczkis into the crowd and I'm beer 6 before 11 am
I slept with a married guy last night and then broke my toe on the doorframe on the way out. I've never seen karma work so fast.
What do you think french fries on pizza would taste like?
i already know. Delicious. Use ranch.
Did i mention i'm like the equivilent of a prepubescent boy suffering from preejaculacy? I just about creamed my pants when he grabbed my hand..
Would it be weird to jack off in the hospital?
Just hit on a girl with the line, "You look like Natalie Portman if she did drugs". Strike 1
We all love a big dick, but you’re going to develop a reputation if you keep asking every guy at the bar ‘how big your dick’
That’s all I’m saying
Randomize
