you yelled that ur labia majora was swollen at 3 am in the dorm hallway
ironically, his detergent was also "small and mighty"
So I just googled the ten commandments... Were fucked.
she is using a fork to eat popcorn and refuses to drink gatorade out of anything but a margarita glass... did i mention the popcorn is on a plate?
You left your underwear on the fireplace
i havent blinked in 235 seconds. now 247. now 258. 263. 267. 271. i also have been gifted with theability to both type and count and not blink. 293 so magical
You tried to initiate "Occupy McDonald's" when the cashier didn't give you enough ketchup.
All of the sudden your world had become nothing but the sum of visible dicks. Welcome to life.
After some trial and error I found soaking my balls in maple syurip helps ease the pain.
I say go for the trifecta and maybe you'll get a medal or something. Or a baby. That's like the same thing right?
You took off all your clothes to try on her fur coat and then punched me when I said you couldn't wear it to bed.
The one time my sister did shrooms she thought she was thumbalina. I can't live my life that way
Mostly what I remember is someone saying "raise your hand if you're too turnt" then raising my hand and falling
I want an apology pizza with SORRY IM A DOUCHE spelled out on it in pepperoni
Not a problem, sailor. I speak both autocorrect and typo.