Does my surprise involve the use of a safe word?
no, he's only a walking dick if he mans up. right about now he's just a walking transgender.
My wife all of the sudden got markedly better at giving blow jobs. Should I be happy or concerned?
how can you tell if its a queef or a fart from that close?
KATE. I JUST NOTICED THAT LOWERCASE D'S LOOK LIKE SLIPPERS.
I think I'm making progress on my commitment issues. I drunk made out with the same guy from last semester this weekend.
There needs to be waaaay more alcohol in my apartment if I am going to survive being unemployed
I'm laying here in fetal position. I feel like a traffic cone
Turns out, his fucking is as lame and staggered as his NFL career.
Lmfao I'm not trying to have a pissing contest over acid with my mom.....
I may have tried to encourage people to play a new game I invented last night. I called it Super Quarters. Like regular quarters, only using an AA medallion.
Just used my flashlight app to find a gummy lifesaver I dropped on the floor
I like how you're utilizing your resources
In 2014 only three boys have seen my boobs so far
Just caught myself checking an online porn site while in a strip club. Might have a problem.
Just bought a colored water bottle so my classmates can be so judgemental when I bring beer to class.