I'm gunna smoke cigs today. I feel like I'm in that powerful and gritty mood which requires them
I never said you were fat, just too fat for ME
I mixed the ketchup wit the mustard in one bottle to save time making hotdogs
Drawing dicks in the frost on people's windshields is a rare joy I allow myself while walking to my 8 AM class.
I wanna get so drunk next week I throw up on a guy's genitals. I want to be that memorable for someone.
The question is do I invite my fuck buddy to my graduation party now that my girfriend found out about her?
She's "threw gas on the fire to put it out" drunk. Come retrieve ur gf. Ps she smells like burnt hair
I mean we had sex in a crib. You tell me how my night was.
i was staring at her drunk thinking "shes at least a four"
Sounds good. Stay safe. I'm kind of drunk in a Food 4 Less right now and I'm having the time of my life.
Carrying your RA back to her room wasn't the conclusion I was expecting for the first thursday back
Woke up with your brother in my bed...where do you want me to return him?
So apparently blacked out me judges a man based on what type of dinosaur he would be...
I'm listening to Michael Jackson while drinking vodka, alone. Honestly, l wish I could Moonwalk my way back to when I knew wtf was going on in my life.
Anyhow. He gives me orgasms and cuddles and buys me dinner and alcohol. Ill keep him around and cross that other girl bridge when we get there ha ha
Randomize
