well apparently i yelled MY VAGINA WAS ANNIHILATED and his whole family heard
Why can't we have signs that automatically flash on our foreheads that say not interested when gross ugly guys come around, like those glasses that get dark when the sun comes out?
the blizzard started in kansas. im debating driving to a bar now so i can get snowed in there for the game
i love that he's uncircumcised. it makes handjobs so much easier. it's the lazy susan of penises.
I'm trying to decide if I want to bring home my 'beer champion' trophy or my chem books.
I had one margarita and got the worst headache of my life... its like my liver has senior week ptsd
Sitting here wishing there were men in my life.
me too. too bad ive decided to fill that hole with cookie dough, closing the door to future men one fat cell at a time.
You just begged me to mute the porn and watch her ass bounce while listening to dubstep the whole time.
I'm a lady, I can't pee on the ceiling. Even I don't have that power.
i have two emotions: emotionless and blind with rage
He asked if I had feelings for him while I was lying naked on the floor vomiting into a trashcan as he held my hair and fed me Pringles.
I know you all think its cute to drop me off in a different state when I black out, but I can't wake up in family campgrounds asking where I am. These parents are scared.
There is a guy in class using a wine bottle as a water bottle. Welcome to the Faculty of Environment.
looked up people from my old yearbooks. 3 ex boyfriends are gay. im getting drunk now.
I just did the math technically I'll be drunk until 2:30-3:00pm
Randomize
