Picture the opening band right now: euro, beer guts, one member in oversized hipster lumberjack apparel, the other in childsized american apparel and shorts. Singing in german.
Whenever he makes me dinner its always mini things.. cheeseburgers, corndogs.. is he preparing me for something?
So we sucessfully lit our bathtub on fire. Thought you should know.
I seriously fake cumming more than i poop.
29 Petty People Reveal The Shallow Reasons They Turned Someone Down
Being college poor has reached a new low. I am giving up on masturbating so i can save money on toilet paper
i'm pretty sure i just ruined some dude's romantic riverside sunset proposal by running outside and puking in a bush.
Do you think she's aware of my deep hatred or should I set her hair on fire in her sleep?
What's the appropriate I've been inside you but we're not technically dating valentines present?
is it bad that my walk of shame involves the church shuttle?
21 Horribly Evil Pranks To Play On Your Drunk Friends
Carpeing THE FUCK out of that diem
I puked walking onto the plane. How do you think my post-Birthday hangover went?
I had sex with a Dutch boy on a rock last night. Happy graduation! x x
Chicks, chicks everywhere, and not a drop to drink. Dude, when did real life lesbians get HOT?
On a scale of 1 to 10 how concerned should I be
This is why you have to watch more Zombie movies- to prepare for End Times...