Pretty people don't get stds, I knew it
yeah for some reason your penis didn't fit in my mouth the other day
No. You are not the Kate in this relationship. I will do what I want.
I should just throw a hundred dollar bill into the wind and walk away... save myself the hangover.
New Dating App in Dallas For Only The Most Ambitious and Attractive Singles
he got his own cum in his own eye. TWICE. how do you make that mistake again?
we were so high last night we were cutting bread with my iphone
My spanish isn't great but I'm pretty sure he was calling me a "little monkey" while I was blowing him
All I remember is that the bartender wouldn't give me scissors cuz I was too drunk
And on the subject of embracing my inner whore, I had two different dicks in my mouth yesterday. Friend, it's official. I'm completely outta control.
Stay Away From These 29 Online Dating Red Flags
He's cheating on her.
Are you sure it wasn't her?
I have my glasses on, and as long as she didn't change her face in the past two months; its her.
Bro what are you doing Thursday the day before I go to jail??
Coming to you live from the floor of my office..
Just had the best idea EVER: start a mead brewing/dispensery business! WE CAN BREW IT IN MY GIANT CLOSET, AND NEVER BE SOBER AGAIN.
Only you can make me eat tacos in your car, while naked, on a dead end road in a ditch on a Thursday night.
all night she kept rolling over and mumbling something about wanting an extendable retractable urethra.