My penis is the apex of life and all other references. Lookin for a cheap vagina at this point. And cheap Korean BBQ
the condom got lost in my hair
i just looked at my contacts and realized i saved the pizza hut girl's number as "fckucin pizza" the other night.
i need to break up with him. i realized this while i was making a mental grocery list while we were having sex. this is not the first time i've done that.
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i just entered cocaine into my calorie counter.
I guess I gave him a 20 minute play-by-play of the first three sections of R. Kelly's 'trapped in a closet.'
You were throwing ham at people telling them you were the sandwhich fairy
You working tonight?
Keg. Hottub. Wearimnh a 8th graders bikini. Mess
I was desperately holding on to my sandwich while we had sex.
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He had a tramp stamp of his own phone number. You can't tell me that isn't smart.
I approve. Last time I was there, I left E's room to get a drink of water. Found M sitting on the kitchen counter in his boxers hammered and eating a banana. He proceeded to feed me the rest of his banana then went to bed with the lights on. You two will be great.
He's a fucking asshole. Who gives good head. And seriously I have never seen someone less committed to hair color
no, I didn't go in the end. Too hungover and hot, plus Star Wars is on so obviously I'm having a naked day.
After last night I never want to be in the back of a cop car again. No leg room.
Remember how I have such good luck that it's almost bullshit?
I'm afraid to ask, but go on.