Texts From Last Night · Random Texts

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(206): View more from Washington

My penis is the apex of life and all other references. Lookin for a cheap vagina at this point. And cheap Korean BBQ

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(281): View more from Texas

the condom got lost in my hair

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(978): View more from Massachusetts

i just looked at my contacts and realized i saved the pizza hut girl's number as "fckucin pizza" the other night.

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(732): View more from New Jersey

i need to break up with him. i realized this while i was making a mental grocery list while we were having sex. this is not the first time i've done that.

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23 Strangest Things That Gave Dudes A Boner
Read it at the TFLN blog
(510): View more from California

i just entered cocaine into my calorie counter.

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(508): View more from Massachusetts

I guess I gave him a 20 minute play-by-play of the first three sections of R. Kelly's 'trapped in a closet.'

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(702): View more from Nevada

You were throwing ham at people telling them you were the sandwhich fairy

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(212): View more from New York

He's a fucking asshole. Who gives good head. And seriously I have never seen someone less committed to hair color

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(832): View more from Houston, Texas

Remember how I have such good luck that it's almost bullshit?

(1-832): View more from Houston, Texas

I'm afraid to ask, but go on.

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