New low. Found an ant nibbling on my last xanax. Flicked it away and popped it in my mouth anyways.
Just spent 3 hours on the Mcdonalds website. I don't know what to do with myself now that college is over.
Also we decided you're the person whose going to die at my bachelor party...do the math you're the most logical choice
I feel like his dick looks like a decorative autumn squash.
Bring a bathing suit for the glitter slip n slide
The best part about living in a college town is the annual rush of senior girls who want to get in their lesbian experiment before they graduate.
Yeah thats cool. We can play the alphabet game while doing bumps of coke in the back of his volswagon
Are we really going to sext in Pokemon battle fashion?
Old men love us. For they have fine taste and disturbing minds.
What part of drinking with my mom makes you think i'd get naked
All of it
and if planning a fake elopement keeps me from fucking strangers and doing drugs, i think it's good for me
Walking towards a police car with full spotlights on you while being fully erect..awkward exp. for both parties
Never joke about your clitoris.
Fuck. Totally just had sex instead of studying for econ test in an hour. Gonna get fucked again. HELP ME WITH YOUR EXTENSIVE KNOWLEDGE OF ECON
QUICK FAX ME THE BALL
Not how faxing works at all btw
Randomize
