toast her oven
toast her strudel
inspect her gadget
So..he puked on my dress and I had to walk back to the dorms in his little sisters Scooby Doo pajamas.
I don't know you.
he started yelling "squirt for me" then his girlfriend knocked on the door and told us to keep it down
i'm not really understanding how she couldn't figure out it was him
ugh the "ive seen you naked on the internet" look is really getting tiring
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Watching Blossom reruns on YouTube. Eating Pringles dipped in hot chocolate. Not taking this breakup well.
I come back into the room and you're grinding with the person in the mascot suit.
I think I just fucked my first person born during the Clinton administration
I feel like my teeth are sweating.
What is the current exchange rate for ramen to jello shots?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I feel horrible. I brought her to your house like a late night pizza delivery and dropped her off.
Update. A gay dude just told me I'm the most beautiful thing with a vagina he as ever seen. How should I feel about this?
No, you are in the clear. The police officer finally just said "I give up" and walked away.
If you feel frisky later I have a cowboy hat that would look great on you naked...
Who is this......
Omg no hes gotta go down on me. Then itll be like my vagina has kissed the stanley cup.
Eh, it could have been worse. I may or may not have been wearing a jedi cloak while getting my dick sucked.
Randomize