yeah it was kind of like, i'm 27 and still live in a frat house.. you honestly expect me to have "moral fiber" and a "conscience"
I feel like this woman may give her husband a hand job mid way through dinner. just saying.
Dude, it's gettin so bad even my fantasies just wanna be friends.
So after i got done, she went over and got out her gecko, I felt like I was in an X rated geiko commercial.
BROstal carolina. Watching a boy drinking rum and coke out of a cup of noodle empty cup.
did that guy on the oscars really just tell me to text a dolphin?
they're making a venn diagram comparing gummi bears against gummi worms...is this what i have to sit thru to get free weed????
Babe, I need to be clear. I DO NOT WANT TO HAVE ANAL. Never. No anal. No "talking about it"
Atty had lunch with DA and confirmed I am not the target of the investigation. No word on anything else
i finally decided to cut him off after he he looked me dead in the eyes and said "how have i been inside you for the past twenty minutes when my pants are still on?"
At least you didn't get an invite in the mail to your fuck buddy's baby shower like I just did. My life is a sitcom
The dysfunction is strong in this one.
An old biker dude just flirted with me at Food City. I enjoyed it. God damn I need to get laid.
I just saw an ad for "fair trade quinoa vodka". Fuck this world and everyone in it.
For someone who claims to be straight, she knows a hell of a lot about bi erasure, and one Hayley Kiyoko song too many
Randomize
