no, I didn't make it. Instead, i watched VH1 for... 13 hours? I use the question mark because I was using Flavor Flav's clocks to tell time after the first 3 hours.
your address is 607B right?
yeah why?
i need to tell the guy bringing over the flaming bag of dog shit where to put it
toilet paper cling ons are not as adorable as the little red cub makes them look on the charmin commercials.
The prescription for my birth control just blew away in the wind on my way back from the health center. It's like god wants me to get pregnant
I told her that if she blew me I would give her the empty pizza box in the fridge.... Why did she agree?
I'm trying to figure if this dude sitting in his car with the door open is dead or just sleeping. Someone was probably wondering the same thing bout me 20 minutes ago. Your meeting is taking a ridiculous amount of time.
It was his first time doing shrooms and we made him ride in the truck bed. But he kept standing up and yelling when we stopped so we had to keep driving
This is how baked we were last night. Our drinking game: We stare at each other; first one to laugh drinks.
easter 2014 is on 4/20 THIS IS NOT A DRILL YOUR FAMILY WILL EXPECT YOU TO BE HOME AND SOBER I REPEAT THIS IS NOT A DRILL
But for real though. That weed tastes like the jolly laughter of Santa Claus.
Like tbh you're not doing anything that screams I'm drunk and yet nothing says I'm going to spend $30 on McDonalds and make out with a stranger like that picture
You whispered 'For Frodo', handed me your shirt, and charged campus security.
Dude, I just feel great. I love life so much and I love you. Love. Love. So much love.
I'm at home, drunk, and I just called the guy I lost my virginity to and invited him to my wedding.. I've got to stop drinking by myself.
I want to meet people. Preferably ones with penises
Randomize
