Two words Indian burn...
What did she think it was, a shake weight?
Last time I get high to write a paper the night before it's due. "Tiny Wings and sexuality" is not an acceptable topic to for a paper. Class in 30 minutes. I'm fucked...
ROOF CAVED IN, WE'RE GUNNA MAKE A WATERSLIDE
Like do you realize his dealer came out with a gun and we laughed like it was all just fun and games...
You BETTER NOT STEAL MY MOTHERFUCKING SQUIRREL
Joined a porch party below me by climbing out the window and jumping off the roof. Tonight will be good
This is what my life has come to. Like, I may or may not have just stolen pizza from the guy I just hooked up with's fridge when I left...
I have just found the cubicle of sustenance. And I will rejoice at all the families that have not found this magic. This vodka cubicle of magic.
Pulled over to puke on the way to sign closing papers on the house...Good sign of responsibility.
I'm filtering his penis picture so I can see it better
We broke up. And I told him he better give me my fucking star wars movies tomorrow. Priorities.
Marrying her is the worst scenario of any. That includes death and zombies.
Hes back in his dorm room dancing naked with 3D glasses on.
and he said that acid doesnt really do anything to him...
Just woke up to Siri reminding me that i need to kill the giant orange spider in my room, because it's sorcery and witchcraft is sacrilegious. Did you give me LSD again!?!??!
I woke up and he already had a joint rolled waiting next to the bed. Love.
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