normal stoners make pot brownies. gay stoners make pot chocolate covered cherries on a cinnamon graham cracker crust which by the way are very effective.
he then started listing things that have been up his butt, never drinking in boys town again
He had a huge mole on his dick. Genetics has cockblocked him for life.
I'm at the bar and they've turned up lady gaga to cover the sound of the fire alarm.
Just got a full body massage. It was uncomfortable at first, but then I realized I let strangers turn off the lights and put their hands all over my naked body 3 times a week anyways.
I don't really know I'm just giving her a key to get back in and the "don't get pregnant speech" and leaving it at that.
i didnt think "maybe you should take over" was a good thing to say when i couldnt get it up
I lost it last night. That was humiliating. Cincinnati is now covered in my puke.
I'm not sure any amount of coworker judgement will keep me from eating oatmeal with dinosaur eggs.
Just your daily reminder that we're terrible people: the average number of men a woman sleeps with in their lifetime is 4
hotboxing with the ex-bf's two most recent hookups. they just realized they're eskimo sisters with his best friend. this is what happens when I come home for Christmas.
That sad moment when even your drug dealer lands a summer internship and you don't...
There still is not and there never will be anything as magical as getting high while listening to William Shatner's version of Bohemian Rhapsody.
I'm covered in glow paint and I can't find my shirt. So, successful night
His ex told me that she wanted me to "take care of" him but from the way she said it I couldn't tell if she wants me to look after him or murder him.
Randomize
