How long can I microwave pasta with a 20 percent alcohol content?
pretty sure I offered to blow her dad. she's not speaking to me & he won't stop winking at me.
Turns out getting tied up to two door handles and forced to repeatedly cum is actually a really good ab workout.
6 margaritas later and free shots of tequila, i woke up with a fat lip and they said i blew my nose in a slice of bread
I had to assert my dominance as Alpha Drunk.
All I am going to say is this: I woke up with lots of bruises on my knees from running around on all fours being a 'dinosaur'. Either girls night in went terribly wrong or terribly right.
I told him his only options were from behind or me on top. I was not about to mess up my $80 blow out before graduation.
I think anything that happens between 12 and 2 am is just sketchy enough to be a good idea.
Conversations we need to have while high 1) how mermaids reproduce 2) if blind people hallucinate what do they see 3) reincarnation
YOU WILL DIE AND I WILL CARVE 'I TOLD YOU SO' ON YOUR HEADSTONE
"What's your dick like homie" is not really an acceptable thing to say out loud
My body is telling me there was tequila. My pictures say it was Jeff's fault
What are we just gonna be those girls that get fucked in your parents basement and not get taken to dinner? I don't wanna be those girls.
I think I am just gonna marry that lesbian. She is more of a respectful gentleman than any of the guys I've slept with.
I just don't understand what you plan on accomplishing there except for losing all vestiges of post-freshman year dignity
Randomize
