I'm sorry my penis didn't work
Spotted at kelly concert- 10 year old in a homemade "I do not hook up" t shirt. Well I should certainly hope not, sweetheart.
Church boner. Awkwardddd
he burped in my vagina and tried to deny it...
I cleaned out the fridge, had to pound the brews. I am going to be wrecked for my final at 1
Please tell me that's his leg and you didn't really just send me a picture of your dog's dick
they told me if I wanted to live here I had to get an ass tattoo and then they all mooned me simultaneously. ass tattoos as far as the eye could see.
i just remember sliding through the snow and yelling i love america before puking on the oncoming cars
He showed up at my front door with Plan B and a rose...
The only things in my fridge are almond milk, Smirnoff Ice and chicken noodle soup. I'd say I've done mama proud.
Shroomed with my best friend'a dad at his wife's surprise birthday party so you can say I have experience in the field
What did you two do last night and why did Sam send me a picture of your dick?
Here’s how sick I am. I’m not hungry. I don’t want coffee. And I don’t want dick. So, you know it’s bad.
The first thing my Christmas gift money is buying is a dildo.
My boob job is like a master key that gets me in any door, any party and anyone’s pants! They’re magical!
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