They totally botched my boob job. My tits look like they're are winking.
we'll penetrate his innocence with our dicks
We all know the best way to start a relationship is greeting while at least one of you are intoxicated, dual facebook stalking, and a two week long game of 20 questions via texts to 'really' get to know each other. In that order.
I wouldn't have it any other way. It's like a fairy tale!
I'm trapped in whichever ring of hell is populated by inbred yokels and type 2 diabetes.
she said if I bought her franzia she would blow me, and she would fuck me if I splurged on martini and rossi. Franzia it is
He yelled IN THE FACE!! while cumming on my face.
The puppy is a lightweight. 3 beers and he's passed out on the floor already. I repeat, the puppy is a lightweight.
This year i'm grateful for nothing other than the discovery that the uncircumcized rumors about him were wrong
I'm just sad for you. It sucks that the 17 douchebag asshole guys you're fucking can't morph into one nice, normal, non-alcoholic guy that has a drivers license and no criminal history.
He is stood at the top of the stairs nursing the stolen cat
The guy next to me in the library just got a call from his roommate asking him to come bail him out of jail...we need to step up our game.
Decided in my tanked state last night purchase 2 weeks worth of xanax, so I can guess my way thru this week and finals. Soberly, I decided it would be a great way to test my knowledge of finance.
And I'm sorry for punching you in the face when I drunkenly threw my sandwich
tried to suck my ex boyfriends dick last night at a bar... Happy homecoming from me to you
She thought I was dancing but I just couldn't catch my balance for 11 blocks.
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